Personal Tirade or Prophetic Responsibility?
This article will likely be inherently long. I wish I could make it short, but I cannot. I beg of those I send this to; to take the time to read it as it will be one of the most critical writings I have published to date.
Over the past year many of my articles have addressed the false prophets, false apostles and false teachers that have permeated Christendom. Those articles could have simply been titled “False Prophets” “False Apostles” and “False Teachers”, but now I find I have come to what seems to be the next phase in what God would have me address and that would be “Enablers”. The title of this writing should be called “Enablers” as that is what I am going to address, but the title I have given it was inspired by a response from a person I have long respected for his work and efforts in ministry. His response to the most current article was to say it would not be posted because it was, to him, another tirade against the Hofstee Brothers, Scott and Brett.
If the truth is going to be said in this time then the stops on telling it need to be pulled and we are going to have to forget about whether we are sounding harsh or unloving or non-Christian. A sister in the Lord whom I have come to love much lately and has served to encourage me through some hard times gave me some advice I believe I will follow now in this writing. Her question to me awhile back was, “Why was I so stirred against false prophets.” After I gave her my history in the matter she understood my position and suggested that I open up those personal details to others so they would get a perspective on why it is not unusual for me, and increasingly so, to become somewhat wrathful in my writings concerning false prophets. So, I will start giving you some history here. First, one might think from some of these rather blunt articles I have written that I am a hardnosed choleric personality one would not want to meet. That is far from the truth as those who know me would witness to. I have a laid back mellow melancholy personality, but I guess after all that I have seen and am seeing going on I have been developing an aggressive choleric personality when I am presented with the insanities I witness going on in the name of Jesus Christ.
I guess it has appeared I am angry with and am striking out at the Hofstee Brothers, when in fact they have not been part of my concerns for close to two years. From the comment I recently got it has caused me to realize further how soberingly bad some, (and I should say many – far too many) have missed the point of my articles addressing false prophets, false apostles and false teachers. I have NOT just been writing about the Hofstee Brothers. I have been writing about a lot of people who are, in truth, no different from them in the fact that they are no less caught in prophetic delusion then they are. The Hofstees are simply more identifiable, because of their open radical and off the wall claims of being the Two Witnesses of Revelation. Maybe I can use this point now to draw you into my past and the reason for my “wrath” as some are calling it.
For someone to address me with the attitude that I have no right to have a tirade against false prophets is ludicrous, and furthermore I am not convinced it is of my own spirit that I am stirred as much as I feel it is Holy anger rising up to a degree that is being pushed to the point of having had enough. God is not going to allow the current insanity of the Body of Christ to continue in its current condition. There is NO way around the reality that there needs to come a conviction and a repentance of those things that have taken hold of so many. The issues being addressed here do not have to do with the unsaved, but it has to do with the antics of those who are suppose to be saved and walking in the spirit. Walking in the spirit may be what they are doing, but one must address the question of “WHAT SPIRIT IS IT THEY ARE WALKING IN? It is for sure, in most cases I come across it is NOT the Spirit of Christ they are walking in no matter how much they may claim to be in Christ and to be doing things and saying things by His Spirit.
If you want to address me about false prophets then I will now inform you of who you are addressing. You are addressing one who knew Charles Manson and one who is all too familiar with the intoxication of the spirits that were, and are still with him. You are addressing one who was captivated by the intoxication of that spirit of Charles Manson and one who knows what it feels like to hear someone speak total insanity, yet in that spirit of delusive intoxication think that it all made sense. To be told that someone needed killed was no big deal and was not even questioned. Behind the insanity was an over-powering intoxication that any action, no matter how insane or mad, was for some great and glorious purpose and that we were all special and chosen by a supreme force that was with us and no one else in the world. Did I come close to deeper involvement with Charles Manson and come to a point that I was willing to murder someone. YES! I did – far too close and it sickens me to this day and my heart breaks for those who are yet in prison for their deeds in the matter, because I truly know they were acting on influences and spiritual forces that few in Christendom have a reality on. Now we see the end results of this false prophet. We know of the dead people and we know of those who have spent their lives in prison paying for their involvement in it.
Next – Was I familiar with the Heaven’s Gate group? YES! – In the early stages of that group I knew them and I was familiar with them and I attended bible studies in homes with them and they were NO DIFFERENT than many I see today. Why have I been trying to warn people about false prophets? Because many of you ARE NOT GETTING the point and listening to what I am saying. These false prophets don’t just START OFF CRAZY. If that were the case it would not be such a hard task to avoid them. They start off preaching all the right things, saying all the right things, prophesying and giving words of knowledge and understanding and wisdom and even showing strong attributes that one might only assign to an apostle. Did I associate with these people? Yes! In the beginning, because there was nothing discernibly wrong in the beginning. But they went off the path and into the bizarre and you had best not think that because you say you believe in Jesus that you are immune to falling into such error. I have seen it too many times and have been personal witness to the destruction and death that these things bring. But, you are not hearing me when I tell you that I am seeing many groups and many people right now at the same cross roads that they came to in their walk and I have been trying to warn you NOT to go down that road. Many apparently think I am still writing just about the Hofstees and I am not. The Hofstees are just prime living examples of this insanity. (Though in their case I wonder now how long they may remain alive as those I have seen in the past go down this road have ended up dead). I am writing about people who are well known who are already showing signs of walking down this same road. Where will it lead? I have been trying to tell you it leads to death. But this writing is now more than writing about false prophets. It is to write about those who are “Enablers”. These are the people who are standing behind and supporting what is continuing to be insanity. I see thousands of prophecies and have read them from one end of the earth to the other. Those writing them have not taken the time to realize how much they are contradicting themselves and making excuses for their prophecies when they do not come true. And there is such an abundance of them now. Yet, few are taking heed to the warning or even the evidence of how insane much of this is. I tell you the truth, what you think is the Holy Spirit may not at all be the Holy Spirit. I have been in many situations I was absolutely convinced was the Holy Spirit. When I talked with Charles Manson I was convinced I was being flooded with the Holy Spirit. When I have been in other groups that have gone astray, initially I thought it was the Holy Spirit at work, but the end result ends up being a pile of bodies rather than real fruits of the Spirit. They were the many bodies of people who were warned, but did not take heed. People who were told the truth, but “Having rejected the truth the Lord gave them over to a strong delusion”.
And my first wife – let me tell you about her. She started “hearing from God”. This was all very good it seemed at the time. It appeared as though she was being called as a prophetess to the Body of Christ and she ministered to many people. I have to say; at first she was very accurate concerning the words of knowledge or prophesies she spoke. She was actually more accurate then than I am witnessing being prophesied around the globe today. Then she started getting cryptic prophecies and puzzling prophecies. Again, that seemed all right because, as a seer, one is given images one does not understand so that was also given freedom to manifest as well. But then came a certain day when God had told her that I was a drug pusher. Not only her, but another leading person in the church said they had been given the same revelation. At this point I must remind the reader and the whole Body of Christ that the purpose of Prophecy and a Word of Knowledge is to bring witness to Jesus Christ or to bring him Glory in some fashion… you can be SURE – THERE IS NO SPIRITUAL GIFT GIVEN BE GOD THAT WILL MANIFEST IN THE ACCUSING OF THE BRETHREN. I find I constantly have to remind Christians of WHO the accuser of the Brethren is. It is just another title of Satan himself. Needless to say I was removed from any authority because those in greater authority had heard this “Word from God” about me being a drug pusher. That was the defining point for me as to what spirit these prophecies were coming from, as only Satan is the accuser of the brethren. She became more and more entrenched in listening to these voices from God and with all my might in prayer, and tears, and fasting and pleading and showing proof and evidence that these voices were not coming from God I could not in all my efforts persuade her to renounce her connection with them. The end to this story was the destruction of the family, the kids were at least grown as I had raised them and were in a safer place, but she ended up putting a .38 in her mouth and pulling the trigger. Yes, you wonder why I might have a tirade against false prophets and against spirits that come in the name of Jesus when they are not coming from the voice of God. Do I have personal experience in these matters? YES! Would you now think I would have some authority to speak along these lines or do you just think I am just carrying a grudge against Scott and Brett Hofstee? When Scott and Brett let me in on their secret that they were the Two Witnesses of Revelation I realized again I was placed in a position by God to try warn them, their families and their followers of the dangers of their situation. When I told them I had already known a dozen other pairs of “TWO WITNESSES” they were very interested in hearing about where they were now. My response was that they were all dead. I was hoping and praying in my heart that that would slice through their delusion about themselves enough to bring them to some position of sensibility and sobriety in the matters at hand, but the only response to my comment was, “Well, of course they are dead, they weren’t the true Two Witlessness, we are!” The insanity goes on like a never ending drum beat my soul cries out to God for the power to crush such lying and deluding spirits into dust. My heart seriously, continuously and increasingly cries out in this matter because we now have a whole new generation who have had NO exposure to such insidious traps at all… and I fear I will see another wave of lives taken away because of such things and because there are few prepared in such matters who can address these issues on an “experiential” level.
Do I know about Scientology? Sure I do! I was a disseminations officer for the church of Scientology. Did everything look right there? You bet it did! Did I think it was a work of the Holy Spirit? You bet I did! It is truly by the grace of God that I have come through these situations. It is by the hand of God and my desire to know the truth above what my senses and emotions and even my “anointings” were telling me that I escaped these things, but I also believe God raised me up through these things so that I might serve to deliver those who are now at the cross roads of going down the same path. And I get letters from some of you and your letters are no different than the responses I had from those connected to Charles Manson. Your responses are no different to those who were connected to Heaven’s Gate or the Hofstee Brothers or the David Koresh's' or the Jim Jones’s or any of the many others that have risen up. And you are standing by the same insanities that are starting to take hold of you and you will be led down a path of death, destruction and insanity as they were. Do we indeed, learn nothing from history? But now I am addressing not just you false prophets out there, but I am addressing those of you who are becoming their enablers. You continue to encourage their prophecies when they have a record of having been proven wrong. You continue to validate those who prophecy when daily they contradict themselves and give that same insane excuse that all prophecy is contingent which is just bogus crap from the pit of hell which gives every false prophet a back door of escape to say anything that comes to their imaginative minds.
I keep trying to clue so many in on the fact that they truly are the ones who will stand before the Lord “surprised” that they are on the judgment left hand of God. That their words will be, “But Lord, have we not prophesied in your name and have done many miracles?” and the Lord will say, “Depart from me for I do not know you”. They were surprised. They were shocked, because they thought they had lived an “anointed ministry life”. I don’t know where your heads might be, but this particular scripture verse is the one that terrifies me more than any other scripture. The reason is because I have been in the prophetic arena for some 30 years and for this reason – of all those I would address as having been a false prophet there is nothing you have done or are doing I have not been guilty of having done myself. I desire that God deliver you from this snare as he delivered me, although I pray it does not take the toll on your life that it has taken on mine.
More Personal Experience: Concerning those who consider themselves prophets and who give prophecies that end up not being true, but rather empty and false and in the end damaging in some of the most destructive ways. Let me cite one specific word of false encouragement (though I have thousands I could cite) was one prophecy concerning a lady in the church. She was first prophesied over that she was pregnant before she even knew it. That turned out to be true – gee – the prophets were validated there! Now came the prophecies of it being a boy and that it would be healthy and that God would raise him up to be a deliverer of those in bondage. Joyous were those months of expectations… but now, for you mothers who know what it is like to miscarry, have a child still born or to have lost a child…that is what occurred. The child was still born and the “prophets” concerned did not take responsibility for their words, but rather made excuses for them and placed blame on the mother for having done some sin to have brought this about. In any case, it was no fault of these prophets. I was actually present when “these prophets” gathered to talk of this child’s death and heard with my own ears… not a heart of repentance for the words that ended up false and so traumatically destructive to this mother, but rather I heard them console and excuse each other with various explanations of why this came about – everything or anything BUT take responsibility for having brought such trauma to a family that was so emotionally destroyed through this event. Such things are disgusting, cruel, vile and ANYTHING, BUT a WORD from God to have prophesied such “expectations” in the first place. How hard is it to see this was not from God? And how irresponsible is it to then NOT confess the error in the matter only to continue on in your “prophetic ministry” to likely repeat the scenario again or something like it in a myriad of various forms? Yet, such destructive ministries continue to perpetuate their destruction upon the Body of Christ and the innocent in the name of Jesus Christ and under the guise of the gift of prophecy.
So… am I on a tirade? Actually… I would hope so! I would hope that God would so fill me with Holy Wrath that I could get up from my chair and go out and blow all these ministries away who have no heart to repent in the matter. It is not a matter of making a mistake in this arena. I confess I have made every mistake thinkable it seems. The fact that we are still in the flesh and we make mistakes is not the part that arouses Holy Wrath from God (and that manifests itself in many of the true prophets), but it is the idea that when shown our error we do not confess and repent. If my son makes a mistake I love him and I would hope to point it out to him and I would not even be so angry with him if he did it in a state of out-right rebellion, but it is when I deal with him on the issue and he takes every other road except the road of responsibility and repentance is when my “fatherly fierceness” may kick in. And the fierceness initially may still not be against my son, but rather against the stupid excuses he may have taken up so as not to have to take responsibility. Again, that is the natural response of a child. We don’t readily wish to submit to owning up to our mistakes, but when it becomes a habitual thing and a son shows he is developing a nature that never owns up to his errors, then things will get a little more severe. Then we have a child that has chosen rebellion as a path for life and as a way of life. And how our society has fed that premise these days to say, I was raised in a bad home. Everyone in my family is dysfunctional. I was born this way… yada, yada, yada. God knows who among us were raised in bad homes and I believe He gives those of that arena more latitude and mercies because of it. Eventually, though, it all gets to a point where you take responsibility or you make the conscious decision to continue on a path you have been shown is destructive – blaming everything and everyone else for your mistakes.
God has raised me to have experience in things from a perspective that few are aware of. I wouldn’t wish my experiences on my dog, but I wouldn’t trade the knowledge gained from them for anything in the world. It has served to save my life many times and it is my hope the warning I may give will serve to help save the lives of others who are now of this new generation who have never been exposed to any of these things on either side of the coin.
And again – of the dangers of giving false hopes in the name of Jesus. I used to work with a dear and close friend I went to high school with. After high school and we both became saved we worked together for a while in youth evangelism. He was also given a false hope of being delivered from a certain issue, but when his hopes were dashed in the matter and he was not delivered he entered into despondency and then put a gun to his chest and put a bullet through his heart. I am writing these things because I am taking the advice of my dear friend who said that if people knew my history better they would understand why it seems more and more of the Holy anger of God is rising up in me about false prophets. It is NOT because I have a grudge with the Hofstees – that is a ludicrous understatement and not applicable. It is because I have seen all too much of what I am now witnessing on a worldwide scale through the Internet and I have lost loved ones, family and friends to suicide, addictions, destruction and insanity.
I have been privy to teachers in main line big name churches who supported their ministries by selling drugs on the side. I have been privy to main line big name churches who hired Buddhists to be the Sunday school teachers to the children and these are churches that not ONE of you who may be reading this would not recognize. They are internationally known, and yet these things go on behind the scenes. And you think you have seen it all with the Jimmy Swaggarts and the Jim and Tammy stuff. Compared to the destruction I see rising up in what I see going on; the sins of Jimmy Swaggart and Jim and Tammy will pale in comparison. And besides, at least on their part there was repentance and accountability. In the prophetic arena I see very little accountability. I see big names patting each other on the back and continuing to affirm each other in their delusions. And what “unity” I have seen rise in the “body of Christ” (question mark “?”) – is not unity of spirit but rather unity in the shared delusions of their imaginations.
Would a true prophet seek approval of men? Actually, even true prophets wish they had friends. I wish I had more friends, but I have had few associations because… for the most part… things eventually progress to some point in time I am asked to compromise the truth of God and if all a friend wants me to be is an affirmation to their delusions then I do not need such friends! And if I were a true friend to them I would tell them the truth if it might save their life – even at the expense of losing the friendship. And I have lost many friendships, but I have watched many friends take a path down the wrong road and now many of them are dead.
Has God called me to be a prophet? I hate this question, because I hate the thousands of people who are going around blowing their horn about being a prophet and I do not believe it is called of us to witness of ourselves as to our calling. There should be others who can be a witness of our call and us. I believe that should be and is scriptural. Again I will differentiate between those who prophesy and those who are prophets. One can have the gift of prophecy and use that gift often, but that may not constitute that person as holding the office of a prophet. To simply prophecy is not equal to fulfilling the office of a prophet. In the case of one that is called to be a prophet, the work most often DOES NOT entail prophesying, but rather calling the saints back into repentance or building up the Body in ways of wisdom and understanding. A prophet may give prophecies early on in his call and then spends the remainder of his life expounding on or bringing into reality those elements that were originally prophesied. The Office of a prophet is to bring correction to a group, a church, a city, a nation or whole countries. A prophet discerns the errors and brings in a defense against those errors. A prophet is not one who is simply “manufacturing” prophesies on a mass and “wholesale” basis and who is serving to bring in more error and to continue to support the multitude of errors that have already gone out.
So many of you were called to a wonderful position in Christ, but have been drawn off the path for different reasons. Many have been intoxicated by the spirit of prophecy itself and have become addicted to the attributes of prophetic expression. You need deliverance as much as any alcoholic or drug addict. You are addicted and you spend your days the same way addicts spend their days… figuring out where and how they are going to get their next fix. There are addicted prophets who are addicted to their own prophetic expressions and there are the many prophetic addicts that now cover the earth who have become addicted to listening to and reading every word that next proceeds out of the mouths of these many prophetic people. Do I believe in the prophetic? Yes! Of course I do. Do I believe there are prophets called of God for today? YES! I do, but frankly you have got to have your head in a hole if by now after the last 10 years you have not figured out there are some serious issues that are not being addressed, but are being swept under the rug. And it is easy for those of great reputation to sweep things under the rug and explain away the errors because they hold, for the most part, the majority of listening ears that are out there hanging onto and waiting for the next prophetic (pronounced – pathetic) word to come forth.
What all must happen to you before you will rise up and throw a tirade as I have now been told I have done. Does your wife have to shoot herself in the mouth with a .38? Does your partner in ministry have to shoot himself through the heart? Will you have to watch in surprise as you find yourself surrounded by ATF agents because your beliefs have slipped so far out of whack that you can’t see day light anymore? And the arrogance for so many to say of Charles Manson, and Jim Jones, and David Koresh that nothing like that could ever take hold of you or delude you or bring you into any such position – all I can say is don’t take what I am writing so lightly. Scott and Brett Hofstee were fine as far as I was concerned when we first met them. Heaven’s Gate were seemingly very anointed and gifted at first. The arrogance that you think you have this whole prophetic program wired will bring you to some rocky places if it doesn’t kill you in the end.
Are these things I have written over the last couple of years to be explained in having a personal grudge against the Hofstee brothers?! – That is far from the truth and a very uninformed comment to make of me. But then, that is not the fault of those who are not aware of the facts of my past or my history in the prophetic arena and my associations with the bizarre, the extreme, and the insane. I am building a case for the reasons for my “tirade”. Given what I have seen, what I have witnessed firsthand and what I have personally lost in life because of this sort of craziness does one now conclude that I am merely throwing an unwarranted tirade against the Hofstees? Does the enemy coming as an angel of light and his own as ministers of righteousness mean anything to anyone? Is there no one who will stop and sound any alarm or throw up a red flag? Is this all just going to be a mass leading of sheep to a world-wide slaughter in some form?
Let me paint a mental picture for you. Let's say you saw a man throwing babies onto a railroad track for the train to hit and kill them. Let’s say I started screaming at the man to stop… and then, some guy turns to me and says I am unjustifiably throwing a tirade at the man. If my tirade were truly only against the Hofstees and if that were really the case even that, to me, would be justifiable as we have seen firsthand and have served to counsel many that this cult has destroyed as families. We fought to put those families back together after the Hofstees had their way with them, but there was too much backed up brain washing to make those efforts come to pass. And what have we seen of just that situation? Too many families destroyed, broken apart, ruined, emotionally crippled and for those in the inner circle so brain washed now I have no hopes left for them but the same fate as became the fate of Heaven’s Gate. So then I write – “Tirade” - against false prophets. How shall I behave when I know someone is going to die because of the path they are about to take? How shall I behave when I have seen people destroyed because of false prophetic hopes? How shall I behave to have watched my first wife deteriorate into a condition to ONLY listening to God and no man that when it came time to obey the voice that said to put a gun in her mouth that she obeyed that voice? How shall I behave to have my best friend kill himself because of a false hope he relied on and the fact that I was the last one he turned to for help and I was too stupid to hear his plea for help? How shall I feel towards prophets who built up the hopes of a mother that she was going to give birth to a child called of God to a deliverance ministry only to have a child born dead? And, let me say this – these were not just people I was against or hated. These people were my friends and I felt very close to them, but as they took no responsibility in such matters my respect for them fell away and my associations with them fell apart when all they would offer me in these situations were excuses that made no sense and did not offer any comfort or consolation to those who were hurt. What I have seen in my personal life on a smaller scale I am now witnessing taking place on a worldwide scale because of the Internet. Now there are literally millions who have been affected and given such words of false hope that will, if not already, destroy their faith and trust and hopes. And it is NOT beyond reasoning to think that some of these people have already killed themselves because words that were sent out did not come true.
Every January 1st we get updates on what the year is going to bring from various prophets. I want to make it clear here that I believe a couple of them are not out of line, but for those who have prophesied year after year after year that THIS IS THE YEAR THAT THE GLORY IS GOING TO FALL AND ALL GOD’S PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE SET FREE. And again, only to be followed up over the months of that year with all those excuses of why it has not come. Does not the Bible say false prophets are as clouds without rain? This is a depiction of those who prophecy hopes that do not come true. I look for a real out-pouring of the true Spirit of God and the true Spirit of Jesus Christ and with that compassion and Love that is the nature of God, but frankly, we are currently inundated with the spirit of delusion and the tricks of the enemy that are set to destroy the hopes of many and it is “for the wearing out of the saints”.
Many speak of an apostasy that will fall away from Christ and I feel I must warn many of an apostasy that will come IN THE NAME OF CHRIST. If I wanted to deceive you with counterfeit money I would not be so stupid to try pass off monopoly dollars on you. That wouldn’t be so hard to figure out. (Although when I was a very small child I thought monopoly money was real as well). I would attempt to have the best engravers in the world working in my scheme to print the best counterfeit that could be made. It would be made on the right paper, it would have the computer strip down through the bill, and it would have all the sequence numbers in place. My point to make here is that delusion is NOT going to come in some other name – it is going to come in the name of Truth and in the name of Jesus Christ.
If I am trying to warn the Body of Christ and this nation to turn back to the TRUE Christ and, by nature that is the definition of the office of a prophet... then you decide for yourself if I am a prophet… don’t ask me that question anymore. This writing, by nature… because of its inherent characteristics as coming from the heart of what would be a “spiritual fathers’ concerns” are apostolic…GO FIGURE… I have NO DESIRE IN MAKING ANY CLAIMS TO FAME OR POSITIONS. I do NOT fear the titles or the positions, but I do fear the connotations these offices have come to mean in many minds. For every 10,000 people who are proclaiming to be prophets and apostles there are only maybe two who are the real thing. They are those who are trying to work to deliver the Body of Christ from the snares of the enemy. They are those who have the welfare of God’s people in their hearts and they are those who will tell the truth at the expense of being driven out of town with clubs. Which, by the way, I have also experienced. One would think with these stories I am simply a troublemaker. Well, if I can make trouble for false prophets than I pray God grant me even greater power to do so. If I can irritate someone to the point of spiritual sobriety than more power to me. What is all this like? It is like doing what is called in alcoholic circles an intervention. An alcoholic reaches a stage where he is doing damage to himself and everyone around him and those who love him gather to confront him about the damage he is doing. So then… what we should be having is one giant worldwide Prophetic Addiction Intervention Convention.
You now have a good understanding of my attitude toward false and irresponsible prophecies. And you know by now I have addressed the prophetic community already, but with this writing will again. But this word is now, as I mentioned before, directed not only at those who continue in their irresponsible prophetic arenas, but it is directed at all those who continue to support and to pat them on the back who keep telling them they are doing a great job and have not addressed the errors that have occurred; especially the last few years. The Lord has been giving warning to these prophets, but He is also now issuing a warning to those who blindly and purposely continue to support such prophets and apostles and who deliberately are turning their eyes away from the errors and sweeping these things under the rug. There needs to be change, there needs to be repentance, and there needs to be accountability. And let me stress here ACCOUNTABILITY IS NOT A GROUP OF FALSE PROPHETS WHO SIMPLY CONTINUE TO AFFIRM EACH OTHERS DELUSIONS. Accountability is when a prophet has made a mistake of prediction or an error, which is NOT in tune with scripture, or the nature of God.
Am I on a tirade? YES! I certainly am, but it is considerably more far reaching than just the little Hofstee cult that my spirit is rising up against. And this is Holy anger; it is not personal as in people just having hurt me. IT IS PERSONAL in the sense that I see and I am watching as these things are hurting God’s people and will bring them, if possible, down a path I personally know leads to death. I AM ON A TIRADE! MAY GOD GRANT ME THE POWER TO DESTROY THE WORKS OF ALL THOSE WHO REFUSE TO REPENT OF THEIR DESTRUCTIVE INSANITIES and may God give me the power to deliver those who have been taken captive by them and may they be brought into true pastures and the true words that will proceed from the throne of God.
And don’t kid yourself to think I have not stood in front of the mirror and rebuked myself for all of the above because I truly have and I continue to do so when I catch myself or the Spirit catches me. If I wanted fame and fortune and to be loved by a lot of people I would have taken the offer to Broadway that was given to me. I chose instead to drop my career as an actor and pursue God and the truth. That has certainly not bought me any fortune or a lot of friends. It may have gotten me some degree of fame, but I do not think that has been in a positive or enjoyable way. I continue to irritate those who would rather keep their head stuck in a hole. I continue to upset those who wish to build a kingdom and a church to themselves and I continue to upset those who cannot handle the idea that there is such a thing as Holy Wrath. They keep relegating the idea of Holy Wrath to the category of just being an unloving, unforgiving Christian who has roots of un-confessed bitterness. Hey – I can understand by some reading this writing that it is hard to tell the difference. But there are control freaks out there in high places of ministry who are using this excuse to quell every voice that would speak against their false prophecies and their delusions.
Am a prophet? I certainly do not want to have any involvement in prophecy as it exists in the current arenas. It is the job of a prophet and that office to tell the truth and to warn about what are the current dangers to the Body of Christ. In this writing I have fulfilled what God has called me to do. What would I rather do? I truly, at this point in life, wish that God would grant that I may become an evangelist to this generation… that I might come into a position of winning souls and that with the experience I have had now in my life; I might train these now coming into the kingdom what kind of land mines there are out there in the spiritual world.
You are not immune because you say, or even really think you are a Christian. If you step out of the path of God’s protection and His truth you don’t have to step far before you will hit a land mine that will blow you apart. I’m still smoldering from the land mines I have stepped on. I have had everything blown off of me except for my hope in God and that may just be a good thing.
Our strength is not in the promise of prophetic words. Our hope is not in the idea that God has grand things for us. Our hopes are not in so many of these things. Our hope and our strength is in the joy of our salvation. We have so lost the joy of our salvation and we have lost our focus for a world destined for hell. We have been so caught up in the prophetic frenzy of so many promises we have all lost our way it seems.
God gave me a vision of the Lake of fire and the lifted hands and screams of torment that came from that place. It was so horrific it literally put me into shock. I was in shock for about 3 days and could hardly do anything for myself. Minutes after I had that vision my friend had to lead me out to the car and I could not even open the car door to get in. That is how much shock I was in. I was meditating over this yesterday and was thinking if every “would be prophet” and “would be apostle” and “would be healing evangelist” and “would be this and would be that”, could be given that same vision I wonder how many would discover their call was to win souls from out of that fire. The screams of terror I heard in that vision rattle me to the very core of my soul to this day. With the voices of so many prophets and apostles teaching all this stuff they are and it proving to be false… this is the place they will go and it is the place they will take many people with them to. That is the reality here. And the Lord said to them to depart into this place and they were surprised. For myself, it would not surprise me. I have come to terms with the reality that I deserve to be cast into the Lake of fire. Not only for the sinner I was before accepting Christ, but also for the outlandish mistakes I have made since. I believe by accepting Christ when I was young I only found greater ways to sin and disobey. As Paul, - “Who shall deliver me from my wretched self?” My hope is entirely upon the blood of Christ shed for me, for if that is not sufficient than I have no hope what so ever. In myself I have found no good thing. In me I find only corruption and sin and lusts of the flesh. If there be anything good come from me one should know upfront that it does not proceed from me, because anything that proceeds from me is going to be corrupt to the core. If it be good it is God and let Him be given praise. If I have any praise for anything than I would be stealing God’s glory. I know what I am! I am corrupt to the core and nothing more than a sin filled lump of flesh and there is no hope in me of being otherwise until redemption is come.
Let the humble and the meek be glad in their positions for they have no distance to fall from, but those who have been raised to places very high, it is a great fall. The fall is really scary, but the impact is what really hurts. If you are currently just up on a pedestal it’s not so far down. You will just get a little bruised and you will heal, but for those that are really up there… I don’t know… the kind of impact from that high up I wonder how they are going to fair. I like the line of wisdom from the movie “Hurricane” – to say, “If I do not own anything they cannot take anything from me”. If you have come to own your ministry and it has become your life and your career rather than something the Lord asked you to do, then it has become something that can be taken away from you. And to the degree that it has been your possession is to the degree that you will be injured by its removal. Let Christ be everything. Let us be nothing. If we are something in ourselves it will be taken away sooner or later. Let the spirit of God work through you. He can do all things and all miracles through an emptied vessel, but a vessel that is already full of himself the Lord cannot enter. How can the Lord enter what is already full. Those who are full of themselves do not have room for the Spirit of God to come in.
During the same period of time that I wrote Personal Tirade or Prophetic Responsibility I wrote what was my prayer and meditation during that day and I simply titled it “Word 06-29-03” – but I include this meditation writing to further show my heart as it truly is. I realize the article Personal Tirade was long enough in itself, but I have found the balance in the Word 06-29-03 giving my own confessions and I think showing that combined with an anger I have against what I see is destructive forces against God’s people, there is still the merciful side of me that is well aware of who and what I am before the Lord. So – Long winded as this all has become I include that writing as well. Print out and find time to sit back in your easy chair when you have time to read and chew on; and what I have thrown out there for God’s people to feed on. I pray it is not just slop, but has some spiritual value to it.
Word 06-29-03
What Lord can I say? My heart aches and tears come to my eyes. My soul is dried up within me. What can I say oh Lord? Lead me through this desert to the wells of living waters. What can I ask of you Lord that you might hear my voice? Look at this generation; have they heard your words yet? Have they known your presence? My soul weeps Lord. My spirit cries within me. My eyes are dried up because I have cried them out, but my heart still weeps and my soul still cries. Be with me Lord, which is the greatest thing I might ask; that I know your presence at all times, that I might direct my actions as an honorable son, of which I have never been counted among. Let me stay at your feet.
I have known you Lord, and I have loved you… but I know I have not taken a good path. Above all other gifts you have given me Wisdom, but above all my brethren I have proven myself the most foolish. I feel your Spirit in me Lord and I seek to understand its’ groaning. Do not tarry any longer in your place Lord. Have mercy and come to me and rescue me from myself above all things. The world is not so much my snare Lord, it is my own will that has never been bridled and I do not know that it can be. I am a wild horse and I have not let you bridle me, nor have I let you tame me, yet I am still counted in your numbering.
The Spirit in me stirs Oh Lord, The voice of your speaking is not at rest within me, but is stirred to speak. I desire not to speak words that are not from your Holy Spirit for they are vain and empty and it is better I be a prophet of judgment that may bring repentance than I be a prophet of vanity that I bring deceit to the people.
I have known your power and I have been a witness to your miracles and I desire to see them again, but above all I know your presence is more desirable then the show of your power. Your presence is sweet and eternal and I never want to be away from it. Let this generation know your presence Lord, and remind the older saints what your Love is like.
In your presence Lord there is no fear and evil has no way in. Let me into your presence. If it be pleasing to you let me be a priest and remain in the Holy of Holies in your presence. I do not wish to go out into the world. There is nothing there for me except that you might send me to speak of your glories. There is no benefit in the world. It has nothing to offer. Let me be in your presence Lord and let me hear your voice and your words and create in me Lord a heart that is willing to obey what you might ask of me. I love you so Lord, buried deep in my soul I know I love you very much, but to obey… in that I am as an untrained child. I am as a child raised with no instructions and no corrections and I am not as a child that would bring honor to his father. This Lord, increases the weeping already that is within my heart. My soul cries out to be delivered from myself so that I might come into your presence. I cry out as a child not willing to be silent. I cry out to be heard.
Look at me Lord. What have I to offer you, but my foolishness, because of that I have an abundance. My life has brought no fruit, and this too increases the weeping in my heart. I am nothing oh Lord. You created me in my mother’s womb and you knew I would have nothing to offer you. You knew I would grow to be a foolish man. You knew I would be a wild horse and that there would be none who could bridle me. My soul cries out for your mercies and my soul cries out for my foolish life. But inside me Lord, you have created a heart that loves you. That love is there and that love is unspeakable. But how can I say I have loved you, when I have not obeyed you. It has been in your mercies that you have kept me at all. I am as a foolish wife that should have been cast out of your house and given a decree of divorce. As a wife who has brought her husband no honor, so I have done to you Lord. As a selfish and foolish wife so have I done to you Lord. I confess my sins to you Lord. You have not been Lord of the house. I have always been lord of the house. What I wanted I went after and what you wanted of me I have not done. How shall I change Lord? What can I do but cast myself at your feet and to have hope that in your hand there is the power to change me.
My soul and my heart cry out for the Lord. I know His Love and I know His mercies, why do I rebel against such Love and Mercies? Why am I not obedient? Why am I a wild horse that cannot be bridled? I love you Lord. That love is in my heart and it is anchored there and unmovable, but how empty is that for you to hear if I do not obey what you desire of me. A wife who has love in her heart for her husband, but is in constant rebellion is an anguish to him. Am I not an aguish to you Lord even though I say I love you?
The spirit of God is stirred within me. The Spirit in me is stirring and is rising up. As the Lord desired to gather Jerusalem under his wings as a hen would gather her chicks, so also is that desire in me to gather under my wings, the lambs to protect them and to nourish and to feed them and to deliver them from harm and to keep them safe. The Spirit in me is stirred and the Spirit desires to bring forth a word. Give me understanding Lord. Let your spirit have my attention and my heart and let my ears hear what it is you are saying. Many false prophets and false apostles and teachers have risen up. They have risen up and have done many things in the name of the Lord. They have built up things to themselves and not to the Kingdom of God. Who can hear the truth? The earth is covered in words from prophets who say they speak in your name and they are full of promises that never come true. Even for them Lord I pray for your mercies as they do not know themselves that they are false prophets and false apostles. The false prophet says a miracle has happened when no miracle has happened. His power is in his deceit. Does not God back up his words with His power? The false prophet gives out hope, and then takes it all away. The false prophets lead the people from one desert place to another always promising rain and places where there is milk and honey and it never comes. They are vicious wolves who tear up the hope and the faith of those who would believe. They make excuses for their lies and continue every day to prophecy and they never let up. And buried beneath so many false prophets are those you have chosen to speak, but who can hear them above the noise and the clamor of so many false prophets?
False apostles rise up who are not humble. They are not meek and they are not loving. They are full of demands and desire to beat the sheep. They are strong willed and speak of themselves. They are as goats that seek high places and they are as goats that rise up to butt their heads against those who get in their way. These are not apostles… these are self seeking belligerent goats with heart’s that seek high places.
Let us have hope in you Lord, that you will deliver us from all this insanity. Remove us from under these false prophets and false apostles. You have called these false prophets and false apostles “spots and blemishes”. So then, as you will come for your Bride without spot or blemish, it is you will come for a Bride that is without false prophets and false apostles and false teachers.
Let me find place in you Lord. Let me know when to be silent and let me know when to speak. Let me know when to listen. Let my heart be still until you have put upon my lips what I should say and let me be silent from speaking vanities.
I long for you Lord and my heart cries out as a woman cries out for her husband to return from a far land.
My soul cries out to be released. There is a time chosen by God the Father to release the Sons of God upon the earth. Their measure of spirit is the measure of Christ. Give me peace Lord and let me not presume things before their time.
Anoint my eyes to see the truth Lord. Anoint my ears to hear the truth. Let me know in clarity what should be discerned.
What is it Lord that is stirring in my spirit? All day it has been stirring. It is your spirit, but what is your spirit bringing forth. In faith Lord, I believe in you. In faith I would speak to remove mountains, but in your will… that is what I do not know. What is your will Lord? Where is it that your spirit is moving? Where is it that you will send your Spirit to? To whom would you speak and what is it that you would say to them? We are all full of our own words, Lord, but calm our souls and silence our tongues to only speak what is edifying and what is from God.
From our lips we bear no fruits if those words have not proceeded from God. They are vanity and they are useless and they bring death and not life. But the earth is covered over like an ocean of the vain words of false prophets and false teachers. To find a true word from God is like finding a gold nugget in an ocean of polluted waters. Where is your truth Lord and why are we so slow to find it, so slow to know it and so deaf we do not hear it? What are you saying to my soul? I know you are speaking into my spirit, but I do not discern what it is you are saying. I only want to be with you and in your presence. I want to know you and to not depart from you. I do not want this world and what it offers. Only God can free a man. Loose what it is that you have put into me Lord. Release what it is that is stirring inside of me.
Call us back by your mercies Lord and forgive us our sins and our foolish ways. Recall the love you have for us and count that our sins are forgiven by your sacrifice and hold nothing against us. Raise us up as though from the grave. Raise us up as though from death. We have not walked in the spirit of life. We have walked in the spirit of death because we have walked in our own ways and gone after the imaginations of our own minds. We have been dead men walking. Speak forth your resurrection to us and we will rise up from this death. We will rise up in your spirit and we will not rise up in our own spirit. What hope have we except in Christ. There is no other name under Heaven whereby we may be saved.
Within me Lord you have placed the words of Wisdom. Into my soul you have spoken Understanding and you have commanded Knowledge to come forth. Cause my lips to speak your words and make me silent otherwise.
Loose those who have been bound. Bring your delivering power and release those who have chains too heavy for them to carry. Break them off of those who are bound by them. Show your strength against the adversary of our souls. When Lord, when will these things be? What is the season and what are you saying to my soul? You have put Knowledge into my soul to raise them with Understanding and with Wisdom and to keep them from the snares of the enemy. You have put gifts into my soul that, by you, those in bondage may be freed. With your hand you will break oppression. Your light will shine forth in the earth. Darkness will not prevail against your coming. You are Lord in Heaven and you will rule the nations on earth. You have put gladness into my soul, but I do not know what it is. Like many seeds you have cast into my spirit and I know they have been planted, but I do not know what shall grow from them. You have given me more than many others, yet I am the least obedient of any. My soul cries out for you to make your appearance in the earth and put to shame the vanities that are spoken. Let the people of God know the truth of His Kingdom and the sound of His true voice. Come to us Lord. Come back to your people and come to show yourself to this generation that has never known you. Release what is in me Lord. Let it come out of me. Give me peace Lord, peace to wait for the season of all things. Calm my spirit and keep me from being anxious. But, Lord, My spirit is leaping within me as John the Baptist leaped in the womb in your presence. It is because you have passed by me that I have been stirred, but do NOT pass on, I ask you NOT to go further and pass me by. I ask you to tarry and I ask that you abide with me. I ask that you come to my house and make it your own. I ask that you not go on and not stop and bless me and my house. I have perceived that you have passed by me and now I look to you not to go further, but to return and take up a place in my house. I know you Lord. I am not giving you a blessing to be on your way, I am asking you to abide in my house. Will the Lord refuse to abide in my house? I have nothing to offer you Lord, but only my welcome. I have nothing and I am a debtor to many. I do not have silver and I do not have gold, but if I might kiss your hands and that I might wash your feet and that you might take rest in my house I ask you do allow me this. Yet, see what a hypocrite I am Lord because I say I will do this for you, but I have not done these things for any who are poor around me. I have not clothed you when you were naked. I have not fed you when you were hungry and I have not given you a drink of water when you have asked me for it, because you have already come to my house and I have already turned you away because you were inconvenient for me. Can I invite the Lord to my house when He has already come to me and I have rejected him because He was inconvenient for me? Will the Lord have mercy on me because I am foolish? Can I say I love God and I avoid my brothers because they may ask something of me I do not wish to give? I do not want to be inconvenienced by any. Will the Love of God abide in me if I withhold love from those who are of the family of God? Who says he loves God, but hates his brother? Has it not been me? Have I not hated my brother because I have called him a fool, yet I say I love God? Who is the biggest fool in this? The one who says he loves God and hates his brother – he is the biggest fool, and that one is not someone else – that one is myself.